SUMTER, S.C. — It’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month and communities all across the Midlands are advocating for victims and survivors. In Sumter, there is a candlelight vigil to honor people who lost their lives to domestic violence.
“We all know someone that this has touched in some way. We're not alone,” Amanda Wiley, a victims’ advocate with the Sumter Police Department, explains.
In her job, Wiley spreads this message it comes to dealing with instances of domestic violence.
“Part of bringing awareness to domestic violence is lifting the shame. When you are living in this cycle, you feel like you are the only one. Your self esteem has been like reduced to nothing. And so we have to meet people where they are and just tell them that they're okay where they are," Wiley says.
In addition to her role at the police department, Wiley also serves as the chair of the Sumter County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council. Comprised of the police department, the sheriff's department, Department of Social Services, the YWCA, the Durant Children's Center, solicitor’s office, and the Sumter School District, the council meets on a monthly basis to discuss "victims that involve children to see okay, what's the best course of action? What services can we provide? And it's been very, very helpful and just showing that support," Wiley explains.
"Domestic violence is not an isolated problem for one person. It is a community issue," Wiley continues. "And so the community needs to come together to address it and be proactive and not so reactive and get those services out there."
Part of the way community members hope to lift that shame is by spreading awareness about domestic violence resources with the community, like the YWCA of the Upper Lowlands run by Executive Director Cleyardis McDonald-Amaker.
“It’s a factor that we'd never get used to, you know, to lose a community member is losing a branch,” McDonald-Amaker says.
The Sumter YWCA is honoring those South Carolinians who lost their lives to domestic violence recently at a candlelight vigil.
“The sad factor is it does not have a specific gender,” McDonald-Amaker explains. “It does not have a specific socio-economic [class]. It's just individuals who have been impacted by power and control. so what we do is bring to light a lot of those factors so that people know the resources before they even need them.”
The theme of this year’s vigil is “Community Response 365.”
“Because we know as advocates that it does not just happen in October,” McDonald-Amaker tells me. “There is somebody being impacted 365 days of each year.”
“I think it’s not just something we can do one month out of the year,” Sumter County Sheriff’s Office (SCSO) Victims’ Advocate Pam Shields says. “It should be a year round thing as far as educating victims and just people in the community because some people don’t even realize that they’re in a domestic violence situation.”
Shields works with Barbara Wiley at SCSO, who says she has seen the value of walking with others and pointing them to resources like the YWCA.
“You need persons in the community that can help walk with them and not judge them, not blame them, not make them feel guilty for what's going on, but to support them and to let them know that you understand what they're dealing with and holding their hand as they go through the process and through the system,” Barbara shares. “Know what's available so that you can send them to the right places or take them to the right places.”
It's also important to know what domestic violence looks like, Wiley says.
"Domestic violence itself is like more of a legal term. The broader issue is intimate partner violence. It can start as early as when you're dating 13, 14 feeling that coercion to let your partner know where you are or send inappropriate photos," Wiley explains. "We see it very, very young, these tactics of manipulation and power. And those dynamics do not have a race, creed or color. It really doesn't matter. They don't have a gender. They don't have an orientation one way or another. It affects everyone. And that's why it's so important that the community is aware because you never know what someone is going through, why they are behaving the way that they are."