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'We can't fully grieve' | Loved ones search for missing mother more than a month after Helene

Kim Ashby's family is searching for closure in the wake of the storm.

AVERY COUNTY, N.C. — It’s been just over a month since Helene slammed western North Carolina. The storm claimed the lives of 101 people according to the state Department of Health and Human Services.

But as communities rebuild, some people are still not accounted for.

For Jessica Meidinger, it’s her mother Kim Ashby, who has not been seen since September 27. As recovery efforts continue in Avery County, her family is hoping to find her so they can get the closure they need.

“We can't fully grieve without her body, like we just can't,” said Meidinger. “I think we're all really frozen.”

Meidinger showed WCNC Charlotte a small memorial of flowers sitting on cement blocks, which were part of the foundation where their vacation home stood. The flowers are a reminder that Ashby still hasn't been found.

“This entire property has been demolished,” said Meidinger. “That first week was definitely a kind of hope that it would be finding her alive. Then it shifted.”

Now, the focus is on recovering Ashby. 

Meidinger shared more about her mother, who she said was a long-time educator and a vibrant woman.

“She loves to laugh, she loves to dance, she loves to sing,” she said. “She's just a wonderful person that I think if you think of like the iconic American mom, who that would be...that was her.”

Credit: Family photo
Kim Ashby

Meidinger said Ashby and her stepdad went to secure their vacation home along the Elk River. It’s a home she said he’s been building for the last few years and was built to withstand a lot of flooding.

“He looked at like the 1,000-year flood line, and he built it well above that,” said Meidinger. “The only thing that he hadn't finished yet was adding flood gates to the garage door side.”

Meidinger said the couple went to the home to secure it and lifted the garage doors to allow the water to flow. But the foundation was hit during the storm.

“There was a bridge upstream that broke, and it came down like a battering ram, and it took out part of the bottom part of their house,” said Meidinger.

The home was swept into the river and eventually collapsed. The couple got separated. Meidinger said her stepfather was able to pull himself out of the debris and tried to get to Ashby, but he was not able to. 

Ashby has not been seen since. Two people are still listed as missing in Avery County.

“These piles of debris are like 30 feet high, hundreds of yards long that we're trying to dig through,” said Meidinger. “It's just a really, really difficult recovery operation.”

“On a daily basis, those sheriff's office resources are out and checking actual debris sites," said Paul Buchanan with Avery County Emergency Management. "They've been checked numerous times, but we're going back and double-check and then triple-check because we do have those missing. We want to make sure that nothing's turning up."

Meidinger said they have had volunteers helping from the very beginning who say they will not give up until her mother is recovered. With the help of volunteers and local resources, loved ones are holding on to hope she will be found.

“She loves the mountains, and that maybe is not necessarily a bad place for her to rest but I think we really want to bring her home,” Meidinger said.

But with every passing day without her mother, the grief lingers on.

“I think we're trying our best to come to terms with the fact that we might not ever find her, but that's just a really difficult reality to accept,” said Meidinger.

Recovery is a long one for communities hard hit by Helene. Repairs and cleanup efforts continue across Avery County.

“As far as power we're 90% back. Of course, we have lost several structures in the county,” said Buchanan. “We do have a couple of communities that are still without water. We've got distribution points for that.”

“What we're doing now is we're talking about debris removal from our roadways, debris removal from our waterways,” Buchanan continued. “Ultimately, we've got a lot of trees, cars and just a lot of stuff in our waterways right now that if we have another significant rain that could develop to other flooding that we don't need.”

A GoFundMe was started to support Meidinger's relief and recovery efforts.

Contact Jesse Pierre at jpierrepet@wcnc.com or follow her on Facebook, X and Instagram.

For the latest breaking news, weather and traffic alerts that impact you from WCNC Charlotte, download the WCNC Charlotte mobile app and enable push notifications.

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